Thursday, December 10, 2009

GoNe BuT NeVeR FoRgOtTeN

This week, my husband and I have experienced a loss. One of his high school pals passed away, he was 30 years old. It was unexpected and very sudden. It has caught us all by surprise.

As a psychology major, I'm very attuned to my emotions and I have a good understanding of the grieving stages (denial, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance). I'm thankful for the knowledge and skill sets I have as it has prepared me to handle a majority of situations.

When I initially found out that our friend was no longer 'here', I was at work. It was at the end of my shift and I rushed to get home. I was in complete denial and I needed to be with my husband. The house was dark and my husband laid awake on the couch. I can't even imagine the thoughts going on in his mind. So, I sat by his side in silence.

As the week went on we discussed our first reactions to the news, DENIAL and guilt.We couldn't cry about the loss since it didn't feel real. We could still see his face and smile so vividly in our minds. I'm sure every memory my husband had with this person, raced through his mind throughout the day and night. We felt guilt because you feel like you could've helped this person in some way. You feel anger because he had a whole life to live (even though he may have thought differently).

Yesterday, we attended the viewing and it was surreal. For me, I hit the "depression" stage. I was finally able to mourn and shed the tears. So, that I could move on and reach acceptance. For my husband, I'm sure it will take longer to get through these stages as he had the stronger connection than I.

In the end, this experience has strengthen my relationship with my husband as I was able to be the shoulder he needed to lean on. Our friend is gone but he will NEVER be forgotten. R.I.P.


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